A radio host on Iowa Public Radio this morning came back from a commercial break all choked up after these two good-for-little musicians, posturing as a duo especial had performed a sappy and uninspired yuletide carol. The host, who had likely been nursing a mug of Folger’s coffee through the entire rendition, excused himself by saying, “Really, some of these songs are extremely emotional.” Really? Other than the country song by Bob Carlisle, wherein the little kid goes to a cobbler asking for a stylish pair of shoes for his or her dying mother so that she can look pretty before Jesus if she passes away that night (a song that is incredibly orchestrated for that same weak ass tear-jerking reaction), what classic Christmas tune does anything more than just break out the vanilla sentimentalism (nothing that should stir ya) and make sleigh bells an annoyance of sorts? Casper & The Cookies lead singer Jason NeSmith isn’t going to deliver any variation of the angelic, melancholy home for the holidays number. He is not Mary J. Blige or Barry Manilow. He is a quirky little elf who occasionally writes about characters with mime in their blood. He finds content in the most menial and bizarre distractions and flights of imagination. He twists up all this impetus with a sweet tooth’s appreciation for always adding another bag of sugar to the mix. It’s sugar with black humor as a stable base. It’s crass at times, but it’s always rambunctious and outwardly cheery. NeSmith and band, which also includes his wife Kay Stanton, Jim Hicks and Joe Rowe, returned to the Daytrotter studio this fall in a very giving mood. They recorded five songs – all new and unreleased – and one happened to be a Christmas song so vulgar and so animalistically sexy that there was only one proper home for it – right here. He might not be the only man whose idea of a proud Christmas song that could get passed down over the generations, one kin to the next, would be one suggesting that if Santa happened to slide down the chimney just as the dirty deed was going down underneath the Christmas tree, why doesn’t the jolly guy just roll up his sleeves and join in a little three-way action. But there is a great chance that he is. It might even be his understanding of what a Christmas miracle really could be. You’ll have to ask him. He takes the tame and G-rated game of mistletoe smooching and gives it some oomph! There’s always a high level of teen spirit that he pumps into his songs, even if the actual content is more sophisticated, and these new songs have enough of that energy to do cartwheels and text message all day – as do the songs from 2006’s The Optimist’s Club and those from 2004’s Oh!, compliments to all of that Mountain Dew and Red Bull they’re hopped up on. NeSmith makes pop music like so few, excluding Robert Schneider of Apples in Stereo, do anymore and it reminds you – strangely enough – of the scene in “Billy Madison” where bus driver Chris Farley is sitting behind the school bus with Jack chuckling up a storm while snarfing down all of the children’s bagged lunches. Poison Control Center, the state of Iowa’s zaniest band this side of Slipknot, will hang from chandeliers to win you over. They will attempt to eat a gallon of ice cream in an hour and keep it all down to make you smile. They will wrestle with a grizzly bear if it means that you’ll be entertained. They will fight for your attention until there’s not an ounce of fight left in their trembling, sweat-soaked bodies. Most of the time, they leave the grizzlies, the chandeliers and the ice cream in the van and just try their luck with their roustabout orchestrations and flailing love anthems. The band is undeniably in its prime these days, with the release this year of A Collage of Impressions — predominantly recorded at our very own Future Appletree Studio 1. Here Patrick Fleming and Joe Terry – roadies for the Cookies on this tour – contribute an original Christmas song that mentions reindeer on several occasions. It is irregularly less zany than they’re used to, but damn if it ain’t still zany.

First song
Sharp! (CC/PCC) [2.27MB] [1082 downloads]



— unreleased
Dude’s an asshole. But the song’s got a beat you can dance to— I give it an 8.

Second song
Little Lady Larva (CC/PCC) [2.83MB] [991 downloads]



— unreleased
This one’s Kay’s, so maybe she’ll tell us about it.
Kay: Little Lady Larva is about the tomboy in all of us.
Jason: Thank you, Kay.

Third song
Eulogy For Marçel Marsalis (CC/PCC) [3.43MB] [990 downloads]



— unreleased
Born a Paresian orphan, Marçel was raised by a prominent African-American family destined to build a jazz dynasty. He loved jazz, but mime was in his blood. And he’d heard about John Cage and all that new art happening in New York. Sounded fantastic, but a little exclusive. So Marçel developed a jazz-mime crossover genre and ran away to NYC. He was roundly dismissed for a couple of years, but a Columbia Records A&R man who was secretly into dada saw his act and signed him. The public quickly caught on to Marçel’s ‘thing.’ Soon his single “Quietude” went top ten, and he was booked at Carnegie. Cage had heard about Marçel’s act, and the blatant corruption of the new aesthetic disgusted him. The night of the Carnegie concert Cage hid in the wings with a pistol. After the gunshots were fired and the hysteria died down, the audience realized that Marçel played even better as a dead man. And so he continues to play today. Like the song says, “Now every yahoo in Nebraska digs the avant garde, thanks to the late Marçel.”

Fourth song
Cloud of Bees (CC/PCC) [2.98MB] [976 downloads]



— unreleased
Some people are all false advertising.

Fifth song
Fuck Me Beneath The Christmas Tree (CC/PCC) [3.46MB] [1119 downloads]



— unreleased
Absence makes the heart grow horny. I’m on the television singing this song for you in a stuffed purple lamé suit with enormous silver piping and an orange Santa beard.

Sixth song (this one is delivered by Poison Control Center in Joe Terry/Patrick Tape-Fleming duo formation)
Happy Christmas - Winter Version (CC/PCC) [2.13MB] [1070 downloads]



— unreleased
I have always loved Christmas songs, but in my book there are only a select few that don’t get on your nerves super fast.. You know everyone has a Christmas song, from Lennon to McCartney, to Stevie Wonder, to David Bowie doing “Little Drummer Boy” with Bing Crosby. In the 60s everyone had a Christmas album. I think Johnny Cash has like six of them in fact. The PCC has dabbled in Christmas tunes for years. Devin recorded An Almost A Capella Christmas in his college door room and that inspired me to write this song in Dec. of 2004. I had fallen head over stockings for a gal and this is what I was feeling. I taught Joe the song in Daytrotter’s rad lounge and we did it with tons of tape echo in one take…Merry Christmas! – Patrick Fleming

Casper & the Cookies
Poison Control Center
Happy Happy Birthday To Me Records
Afternoon Records