Words by Sean Moeller, Illustration by Johnnie Cluney, Recording engineered by Grant Johnson at Good Danny's, Austin, Texas
When it can be so easily boiled down, as Children of the Night do in their lyrical narratives, nothing much else needs to be figured out. The sword has been pulled out of the stone, not by one man, but by many men, who are all now in possession of what they have discovered to be the secret to life. It's the secret to their lives, at least, and the selfishness in us all should appreciate that as more than enough. They have it all figured out. It seems to all be working out for them. They are dedicated to a couple of things and their verses reflect this. There's getting high. It's up there near the top, but it doesn't take the cake. There's beer and getting drunk, which falls a little lower on the list than weed.
What the men of Children of the Night enjoy most is getting sucked off and anything else that might happen after that. And that's all there is. There is nothing else. Well, there are comic books, the figurines and Star Wars viewings in between the nuttings, but that's merely filler. Those things are only meant for killing time. They have simplified their needs and their yearnings down to the three holy prongs. They try to paint a picture here to help us, explaining that we should, "Just imagine us wearing really baggy clothes and drinking lots of 40s and shit." They all laugh at the truth, loving the truth. At the end of "Northern Playalistic," they go even further in explaining their lifestyle, telling us, "We're a bunch of smooth men that do smooth things with smooth women/It's all about staying lotioned/It's all about, you know, getting real buttery with people and letting them know that we live that kind of lifestyle, ya know?" We know now. It's a good life, if you can get it.