Words by Sean Moeller, Illustration by Johnnie Cluney, Recording engineered by Shawn Biggs, Studio Paradiso, San Francisco, California
We normally wouldn't do this. We wouldn't use this space as a bulletin board, etc., but since today is the exact day in consideration, we wanted to do everything that we possibly could to make Brooklyn band Conveyor's wish come true. So instead of filling the next few inches with words about their beachy vibes and about opening throats and making love in nature, we're turning this acreage over to lead singer T. J. Masters and hereby reprinting his open letter to William James "Bill Murray" Murray in hopes that the great American actor comes by the Glasslands Gallery tonight to sling large and medium tee-shirts and maybe some vinyl to boot. And if they don't get Bill Murray, maybe Reggie Watts will show up. They would equally enjoy the show.
AN OPEN LETTER TO
WILLIAM JAMES "BILL MURRAY" MURRAY
I am writing to you on behalf of the greater entity of Conveyor, a Brooklyn-based art-pop band. If you've been following us in any capacity, I'm sure you're aware that for the past six weeks we've been on a nationwide tour in support of our recently released debut record. You will be happy to hear that the tour has been a success and that we have returned to Brooklyn irrevocably altered. Here are a few highlights:
In San Antonio, Texas, a man named Frank offered me a voluminous amount of tequila which I graciously accepted while attempting to coerce a stoned girl who had crawled into the backseat of our van back into the bar with the lure of additional Schedule-I controlled substances.
In the Del Norte Coast Redwoods State Park in northern California, the four of us tried to encircle a redwood tree by linking arms, to no avail. You wouldn't believe how big those trees are, unless of course you have been there before, in which case: can you believe how big those trees are?
In Chicago, Illinois, we stayed with Evan's sister.
In Johnson City, Tennessee, we stumbled into the annual Grateful Dead Jerry Garcia Birthday Tribute Concert at the Galaxy Lounge. The bass player was wearing a sequined dress, an androgynous person gyrated wildly against a four-foot statuette of a yellow-eyed alien, and a small group of artists exhaustively painted rainbow watercolors of Jerry Garcia's face.
In any case, as you may have noticed, we have planned a unique homecoming performance on the night of Wednesday, August 22nd, 2012 at the Glasslands Gallery at 289 Kent Ave., Brooklyn, New York. It would be my pleasure to offer you a spot on our guest list; however, as guest list spots are in short supply and high demand, I would add the caveat that you please aid us by selling merchandise (or, "merch") before and during our performance. It's not an onerous task, and I would be happy to personally give you a quick overview before the show begins.