Admission: I’ve only read two of the books and seen one of the movies. It wouldn’t make me cool or hot to trot if I’d read all six books (I can’t believe young children will read anything that’s 800 pages long! I’m more of a short story kind of person or anything with reasonable page lengths – get in and get out) and seen the four corresponding movie adaptations that have already been in the cinemas, but because I haven’t done any of those things, it does make me un-American. It probably makes me un-British as well, to be perfectly honest, since we can’t fairly take credit for anything J.K. Rowling did. She belongs to others. There is a way for me to become more of an American that doesn’t involve buying a fucking Escalade, wasting gas at an alarming rate and showcasing an arrogance that would make Ric Flair — The Nature Boy — seem like a nebbish man. I can listen to Massachusetts own Harry and the Potters sing about wizards getting to first base (possibly second base from the sound of some of the songs) and feel like I’m apple pie and corn on the cob again. It says I’m American and it says that those Brits can go ahead and shove it if they think that one of their own can create the most outrageously successful children’s characters since the Bernstein Bears and The Muppets and just get away with it without a fight. We got the Muppets back from the Germans two years ago didn’t we and now we’re going to claim Harry and Draco and Dumbledore and Ron Weasley for our very own by allowing Paul and Joe DeGeorge to place them in compromising positions in song. It makes me feel good to be a small part of taking back the power and ripping out the hearts of those smug British souls. (I don’t really mean any of that toughness Britain, forgive me) – Sean Moeller

Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone
The Human Hosepipe (Harry and the Potters) [3.31MB] [5683 downloads]


– original version appears on “Voldemort Can’t Stop The Rock!”
“This is a song about Harry’s first date. It wasn’t a good date. When I decided to write about this, it really struck me as a Modern Lovers/Jonathan Richman type scenario, so I think we drew a lot of inspiration from him on this one. The boy finally gets the date with the girl that he’s been longing for and then all she wants to do is talk about her dead ex-boyfriend. Total disaster.”

Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets
The Hogwarts Tonsil Hockey Team (Harry and the Potters) [900.51KB] [7241 downloads]


– original version appeared on a split 7-inch with The Zambonis
“We’re friends with this band called The Zambonis. They write all their songs about hockey. We write all our songs about Harry Potter. We decided to team up and do a split 7-inch together and get REALLY conceptual. Harry Potter and hockey songs. This is one of our songs. It’s not really about hockey. It’s about teenage wizards making out.”

Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban
Platform Nine and 3/4 [951.94KB] [5624 downloads]


– original version appeared on the band’s self-titled debut
“This is one of the very first songs we wrote for the band. Maybe THE very first. We wrote it in English, but this past November we went to the Netherlands for the Dutch language release of the 6th Harry Potter book and we learned how to sing it in Dutch while we were there! Fun and educational!”

Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire
Hermione's Birds and Bees (Harry and the Potters) [1.11MB] [7788 downloads]


– unreleased song
“This is a brand new song. It’s about Hermione being smart and stupid at the same time. More teenage wizard romance!”

Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix
Sectumsempra (Harry and the Potters) [386.61KB] [6498 downloads]


– original version appeared on the band’s own grindcore 7-inch
“Wizard grindcore! For two years we’ve been joking about doing Harry Potter hardcore songs and calling it ‘Scarred for Life.’ We finally decided the joke was too fun to keep private and we recorded three songs and put them on a 7-inch. This is the most hardcore of that set for sure. The rest of the songs on the 7-inch are just kind of loud and abrasive and angry. They don’t have any jokes aside from existing on a 7-inch entitled, ‘Scarred for Life.’”